he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
