went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize