I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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