i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
