But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
