she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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