jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize