so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
