Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
