she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
