You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
