hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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