It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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