arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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