Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
