So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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