all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
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Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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