The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
