YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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