Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
