You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
