You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
