I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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