I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
