so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
