her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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