I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
