She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
