Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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