I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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