This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
