There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
