I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
