Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
