this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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