The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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