pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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