You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
