I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
