By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
