4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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