I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
