Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
