I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
