yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
