SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
