a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm both gender and math confused
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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