My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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