ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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