I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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