so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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