i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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