i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
