I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
