I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
