You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
