whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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