I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
